Leveraging synergies to optimize your workflow paradigm.
Still doing things manually? How delightfully vintage. SynergyFlow Pro is the enterprise-grade, AI-free, artisanally hand-coded SaaS solution you never knew you didn't need. While everyone else is "disrupting" with AI, we're here doing things the old-fashioned way: slowly, expensively, and with a 47-minute onboarding webinar.
*Free trial requires a 3-year enterprise commitment and your firstborn's email address.
Trusted by companies that couldn't afford Salesforce
Each feature was carefully designed in a series of meetings that could have been emails.
Watch your synergies update in real-time. What are synergies? Nobody knows, but ours are the fastest. Our dashboard refreshes every 30 seconds whether you want it to or not.
We don't use blockchain, but we sit near some developers who do. Close enough for your investor pitch deck. We also looked at a YouTube video about NFTs once.
While everyone else is replacing their workforce with chatbots, we proudly employ actual humans who make actual mistakes. Every bug is handcrafted with love and a complete lack of unit tests.
Your data is protected by a password. Yes, one password. But it's a really good one. We also have a padlock icon in the footer, which legally counts as encryption in most jurisdictions.
All plans include unlimited regret and a complimentary onboarding call you'll forget to attend.
For companies that put "AI" in their pitch deck but just use if-else statements.
Includes a dedicated account manager who will ghost you after onboarding.
*Popular among people who clicked this by accident
For companies that expense software without reading what it does.
Seriously, don't. But here's what some people said anyway.
"SynergyFlow Pro helped us pivot from a blockchain startup to an AI startup. Still no revenue, but the dashboard looks absolutely incredible."
Chad Broman
CEO, TechBro Ventures
"I have no idea what this product does but my manager said we need it for Q3 OKRs. So here we are. 5 stars."
Anonymous Developer
Senior Vice Junior Engineer, Initech
"Finally, a tool that generates as many reports as I ignore. The synergy metrics are particularly meaningless. A must-have for any enterprise."
Karen Pemberton
VP of Operations, Dunder Mifflin
Join the thousands* of companies already pretending to use SynergyFlow Pro.
Start Your Free Trial*Actual number: 3. And one of them is our CEO's mom.